


iSex

by Telesilla



Category: Stargate Atlantis RPF
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Dirty Talk, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-18
Updated: 2007-07-18
Packaged: 2017-10-04 05:45:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Telesilla/pseuds/Telesilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe has a new iPhone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	iSex

"Hey, guess what?"

"Do I know you?"

"I'm calling you from my brand new iPhone!"

"Okay, I do know you and I hate you. A lot."

"Awww, don't be a jerk. I downloaded your movie and I'm watching it."

"Well maybe I don't hate you a lot. Also, you know that thing's buggy."

"What, your movie?"

"Ha ha. It'll break down on you and then you'll wish you waited until the next version came out."

"Did you know that you can tilt it and it changes perspective without you having to push any buttons?"

"God, Flanigan, you're like a fucking magpie, all 'oooo shiny!'"

"Also, you look good naked in the bathtub. Really, naked's a good look on you."

"And now you try flattery."

"You should be naked more often."

"Joe...."

"I'm just sayin' we don't have enough naked time. Don't get me wrong, I think the whole yank the pants down and just go for it in places where we might get caught thing is a lot of fun, but I want to get you naked and roll around with you for a while."

"Do you now."

"Oh hey, are you in line for the movie? Because I can talk really dirty and you can blush and Jane can giggle and then you can go see a kid's film with a hard on."

"No, you fucking pervert, the timing wasn't right. Actually it's been a shitty day, so if you do feel like talking dirty I could really go for some of that."

"I think I can manage that, yeah. I want to get you naked and spread you out across the bed on your stomach and then lick my way down your spine. I figure with the way you come undone just from me blowing you, you're gonna go to pieces when I finally get to rim you."

"Oh Jesus...you know I will."

"I'd spread you open and do it really sloppy...get your hole all wet...your balls...."

"Oh fuck, you _are_ a pervert."

"Oh shut up, you love it when I talk to you like this. Once I had you loose and wet, I'd push a finger in...no, two fingers and lick around them...feel you stretching to let me in."

"Love that burn...."

"Yeah, I know. You make the fucking hottest noises, like it's some kind of surprise or something. And you babble, more than usual, I mean."

"Bastard."

"Me? Bet you won't say that when I ask if I can fuck you just like that...nothing but my spit for lube."

"Goddamn...."

"Tell me what you'd say, David."

"Joe... you know already."

"Tell me, c'mon."

"Please! Okay? I'd say please and you know it, you smug fucker."

"You'd beg and twist and yeah, I'm a fucker all right because I'd have my dick up your ass so fast and so hard, you'd fucking see stars."

"Yeah...oh yeah. You like fucking me that way...hard like that."

"Love it. You're always so tight and you end up not being able to talk and you always just fucking take it...and, Jesus, tell me you're whackin' off right now."

"Just like you are...fuck...how can you talk and...."

"Talk and jerk off? Talk about how I'd grab your hips and just shove my dick in you over and over? Talk about how I'd be able to look down and see you taking it? Talk about how it feels to be up your ass with nothing but spit and knowing that it burns and that you want more anyway?"

"Oh fuck...Joe, I...ohhhh...."

"God! Yeahhh...."

"Seriously, you're a bastard."

"Uh huh. You're just jealous of my phone. Oh hey, that was my first dirty call on it. Excellent!"

"I think I hate you again."

"So much for the afterglow. Hey, want me to send you a picture of my dick? I came all over my jeans."

"It's a good look on you, but, you know? Maybe it's not a look you want to send out over your phone."

"Oh yeah, maybe not. So...see you bright and early tomorrow?"

"Me and the sunrise."

"You're my own little ray of sunshine, did you know that?"

"I'm hanging up now."

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on the following Twitter post David made:
>
>>   
> Flanigan has an iPhone...I hate him...the first film he's watching on it...A Dog's Breakfast! I hate him marginally less now ;-)
> 
> It's also based on earlier Twitter posts where he talks about not being able to get anything done or see OotP that night. I originally posted it in [cottontail](http://cottontail.livejournal.com)'s LJ as comment fic. And no, I didn't read [shusu](http://shusu.livejournal.com/)'s fic--"You Rub t"--before writing or posting this; I love the fannish hive mind, I really do!


End file.
